All About Eve
Rating: 1
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1950
The classic film about the rise and fall of a star contains only subtle clues about the way the character was originally written: as a lesbian. Margo Channing is a first lady of the theatre whose professional and personal life is changed forever when a seemingly star struck young woman enters her life.

A brilliantly scathing, enormously witty look behind the masks of the players who strut and fret their hour upon the stage. Rating is for the little content, not the film itself.
Director: Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Language:
Actresses: Bette Davis, Anne Baxter, Celeste Holm, Thelma Ritter, Marilyn Monroe
Length: 138 min.
Genre: Almost Lesbian
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American Pie 2
Rating: 1
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2001
Lesbian content in this popular mainstream film consists of a couple of gals kissing and making out, to force a couple of guys to do the same. Yeah. Anyway, if you don’t know the plot: Horny freshmen college students party at a lakefront retreat during the summer.
Director: J.B. Rogers
Language:
Actresses: Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Natasha Lyonne, Tara Reid
Length: 104 min.
Genre: Almost Lesbian
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Andy Warhol's Heat
Rating: 1
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1972
Kinky and funny, this many times vulgar takeoff of Sunset Boulevard features the shrewish Sally Todd, a fading movie star (actually a has-been chorus girl) who shares her dreary home with her lesbian daughter and the latter's sadistic girlfriend.

Their lives are briefly stimulated when Joe Dallesandro enters the scene. All have the hots for Little Joe - prompting mom to complain her daughter "can't even make a good dyke."
Director: Paul Morrissey
Language:
Actresses: Sylvia Miles, Pat Ast
Length: 100 min.
Genre: Camp
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Bad Girls
Rating: 1
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1994
The four newly minted outlaws hit the road, with hired Pinkerton detectives on their trail. This revisionist, feminist western, combining elements of Young Guns with The Ballad of Little Jo, is actually better than the bullets and bustiers, girls-with-guns expectations it generates. Although certainly not perfect, with an often meandering script and many hackneyed contrivances, it's hard not to appreciate women who shoot to kill when sufficiently provoked. Also appreciated is one particularly memorable line: "If your laws don't include me, then they just don't apply to me, either." Amen, sister.

Note: This is not the British TV series.
Director: Jonathan Kaplan
Language:
Actresses: Madeleine Stowe, Mary Stuart Masterson, Andie MacDowell, Drew Barrymore
Length: 100 min.
Genre: Action
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Black Sunday (Maschera Del Demonio)
Rating: 1
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1961
Author/film goddess Andrea Weiss wrote, in her book titled Vampires and Violets that this film had Lesbian overtones. I strongly disagree. What we have is a vampire film where the only physical contact between 2 women (vampire and victim) is a touch of the hand. Not even a seductive neck bite! No loving gazes pass between them since the victim is unconscious before she is brought to the vampire, and she remains so until after the vampire is dead. There is nothing that I could see which might indicate any kind of sexual attraction of the vampire to her victim. This is a good vampire film, but there's no Lesbianism in it. I'll keep it here only because there are a few books out there that indicate Lesbianism in the film. (Note: there is also a 1977 film called "Black Sunday")
Director: Mario Bava
Language:
Actresses: Barbara Steele
Length: 87 min.
Genre: Lesbian Vampire
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Blue Diary
Rating: 1
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1997
Boring short film consists of a voice over narrative about a one-night stand with a straight celibate woman, while cars drive down streets. Yawn.
Director: Jenni Olsen
Language:
Actresses: Lynn Flipper
Length: 6 min.
Genre: Experimental
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Cat People
Rating: 1
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1982
Gorgeous young people are cursed, and occasionally turn into vicious animals. And there's that whole brother/sister thing. Includes a vaguely Lesbian comment. Note: this is a remake of a 1942 film.
Director: Paul Schrader
Language:
Actresses: Nastassja Kinski, Annette O’Toole
Length: 118 min.
Genre: Thriller
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Count Yorga, Vampire (The Loves of Count Iorga)
Rating: 1
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1970
Mediocre vampire film (compared to the Hammer films of the same time period). Includes a scene where 2 female vampires awake, and one goes to kiss the other.
Director: Bob Kellijan
Language:
Actresses: Donna Anders
Length: 91 min.
Genre: Lesbian Vampire
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Crash
Rating: 1
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1996
People getting a thrill out of sex in car accidents. Includes "a small Lesbian scene between Holly Hunter and Debra Unger in the backseat of a crashed car. Not much to speak about but some decent kissing and stroking." This film was booed at Cannes, and the director was spat on.
Director: David Cronenberg
Language:
Actresses: Holly Hunter, Deborah Unger
Length: 100 min.
Genre: Erotica
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Cruel Intentions
Rating: 1
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1999
A brother and sister sleep around as much as possible, and make bets on it. Includes Sarah Michelle Gellar teaching Selma Blair how to French Kiss.
Director: Roger Kumble
Language:
Actresses: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Selma Blair
Length: 97 min.
Genre: Drama
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Daughters of Darkness
Rating: 1
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1971
Vampire horror flick with a vague lesbian story line. The Countess Bathory and her friend (played by Ouimet, who looks a whole lot like Angelina Jolie!) make friends with a newlywed couple. She's an innocent young girl, he's a vicious woman-hating gay man who calls his foppish older boyfriend, "mother". He beats his wife, she falls for the Countess, he accidentally kills someone, they run down a local police detective, someone else dies, then someone else… well, you get the picture. Lots of 70s boob and butt shots. A joint venture from Belgium, France and West Germany.

Also known as Blood on the Lips, Blut an den Lippen, La Rouge Aux Levres, Erzebeth, Les Levres Rouges, The Promise of the Red Lips and The Redness of the Lips.
Director: Harry Kumel
Language: French
Actresses: Danielle Ouimet, Delphine Seyrig, Andrea Rau
Length: 87 min.
Genre: Lesbian Vampire
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Dr. T and the Women
Rating: 1
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2000
Misogynist crap dressed up with the good looks of Richard Gere and Helen Hunt. All the women are losers, but the guy is so great, he even adores his wife so much she goes insane. It's the story of a doctor overburdened by women who love him, including his patients, his daughters, and even strangers.
Director: Robert Altman
Language:
Actresses: Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler, Janine Turner, Helen Hunt, Laura Dern, Farrah Fawcett, Shelley Long, Tara Reid, Lee Grant
Length: 121 min.
Genre: Comedy
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Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
Rating: 1
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1965
The lesbian subtext is way too subtle to call it lesbian. Rosie looks on with angst as Varla makes out with a guy. Okay, but here's the plot: Three bad girls hang around together. They soon find themselves involved in murder, kidnapping, lust and robbery after an impromptu desert race gets out of hand.
Director: Russ Meyer
Language:
Actresses: Tara Sultana
Length: 83 min.
Genre: Action
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Irma Vep
Rating: 1
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1996
Maggie Cheung goes to Paris to film the remake of a vampire flick. One of the film assistants makes a pass at her at a dinner party.
Director: Oliver Assayas
Language: French, English
Actresses: Maggie Cheung
Length: 96 min.
Genre: Drama
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Johnny Guitar
Rating: 1
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1954
A true original from Nicholas Ray (Rebel without a Cause), this is the story of a cowboy who carries a guitar instead of a pistol and believes that, "...when you boil it all down, all a man needs is a good smoke and a cup of coffee." Joan Crawford plays Vienna, a saloon keeper who enlists Johnny's aid, and Mercedes McCambridge is incomparable as Emma Small, the local crusader who simply can not rest until she sees them all hang. As played by McCambridge, Emma is a sneering zealot who wears black and can't accept her attraction to Vienna. A proto-lesbian classic.
Director: Nicholas Ray
Language:
Actresses: Joan Crawford, Mercedes McCambridge
Length: 110 min.
Genre: Almost Lesbian
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Lair of the White Worm
Rating: 1
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1988
Bram Stoker's last work receives a brilliant, tongue-in-cheek adaptation as director Russell takes outrageous delight in offering a perverse tale of venomous vampirism and perverse paganism. A slimy tale of ritual sacrifice in modern England, delivered with an abundance of camp humor, serpentine symbolism and just about every daft snake joke in the book.
Director: Ken Russell
Language:
Actresses: Amanda Donohoe, Catherine Oxenberg
Length: 94 min.
Genre: Lesbian Vampire
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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Rating: 1
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2001
Based on the popular video game, this live-action adaptation follows the exploits of archaeologist and adventurer Lara Croft, who must keep the evil Illuminati from obtaining the Triangle of Light, an ancient and powerful talisman. No lesbian content, but wow! Does Angelina Jolie look great! The 1-star rating is for no lesbian content and not a great script, but it does have some great special effects!
Director: Simon West
Language:
Actresses: Angelina Jolie
Length: 105 min.
Genre: Action
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Lesbian Coffin Sex
Rating: 1
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One of many short films on Something Weird's Chained Girls DVD release. Before Spinal Tap, there really was a mockumentary/fake documentary underground scene. Especially around the "mondo" video world. Throw this into that same heap o' trash! We have an obese man narrating his sad tale of ill health that makes it difficult to participate in perversion. So he hires women to have sex in a coffin that floats in his swimming pool. No, really.
Director:
Language:
Actresses:
Length:
Genre: Camp
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Let's Make Mary Moan
Rating: 1
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One of many short films on Something Weird's Chained Girls DVD release. A 1950s or 1960s short film of butt paddling. That's all, just a woman in white underwear (was underwear really that big back then?) being paddled (with a kid's ping pong paddle!) on the ass by a woman in black underwear.
Director:
Language:
Actresses:
Length:
Genre: Camp
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Make a Wish
Rating: 1
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2003
A not so thrilling thriller, but a very horrible horror! This film is so serious it can't be camp, but isn't good enough to be anything else. A group of women who apparently all lust after one woman, go on a camping trip. Oh no! They all start disappearing, one by one (probably saw the rushes!)
Director: Sharon Ferranti
Language:
Actresses: Moynan King
Length: 96 min.
Genre: Thriller
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Manhattan
Rating: 1
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1979
Woody Allen's wife leaves him for another woman. Who the hell wouldn't? Manhattan follows the jagged course of love taken by a group of New York sophisticates. Shot in a romanticized black and white, the film is both deliriously comic and assuredly dramatic while exploring romantic indiscretions, misjudgements and betrayals. Allen plays a TV writer whose wife, Meryl Streep, is a lesbian who finds more satisfaction in the arms of her new lover. The two women raise her and Allen's son while Allen hooks up with the impossibly young, beautiful and wide beyond her years high schooler Hemingway.
Director: Woody Allen
Language:
Actresses: Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep, Mariel Hemingway, Karen Ludwig
Length: 93 min.
Genre: Drama
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Miss Congeniality (Miss Undercover)
Rating: 1
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2000
Gracie, a rather butch, unattractive FBI agent, must go behind the scenes at a beauty pageant. Look for simplistic us versus them anti-feminist politics. But look too for some humour, and for surprise lesbian content, comprising perhaps 2 minutes of the film.
Director: Donald Petrie
Language:
Actresses: Sandra Bullock, Candice Bergen, Heather Burns
Length: 109 min.
Genre: Comedy
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Orgy of the Dead
Rating: 1
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1965
Written by Ed Wood (yes, *that* Ed Wood). 1965. A female ghoul makes dead women do a striptease for her male "master". She develops a thing for a live female who, along with a boyfriend, stumbles across their show. This isn't worth watching, unless you really enjoy strip shows from the early 1960s, or you're writing a research paper on the comparative kinetics of stripping for women (watch this film, watch Showgirls, and tell me there isn't a world of difference!)
Director: Stephen Apostolof
Language:
Actresses: Fawn Silver
Length:
Genre: Lesbian Vampire
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Outdoor Lesbian Love
Rating: 1
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One of many short films on Something Weird's Chained Girls DVD release. A colour release (silent, of course), obviously shot on home movie equipment from the 1960s or early 1970s. Two nubile young lesbians lie next to each other, get nekkid, touch themselves and show off their underwear. Points to the actress who hears the off-camera direction, and says "Huh?"
Director:
Language:
Actresses:
Length:
Genre: Camp
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Pepi, Luci, Bom (and Other Girls in the Heap)
Rating: 1
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1980
A woman enjoys being beaten by her husband. When he refuses to beat her anymore, she lets a woman abuse her. Then hubby finds out and nearly kills her. Misogynist crap.
Director: Pedro Almodovar
Language: Spanish
Actresses: Carmen Maura, Eva Siva
Length:
Genre: International
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Tank Girl
Rating: 1
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1995
Teasingly lesbian, this action hero flick (which failed to find an audience) features Lori Petty as the wise-cracking, intrepid heroine who gets the help of Jet Girl to bring down the despotic Malcolm McDowell. Loads of in-jokes and playful references to girl-girl attraction -- acting like the lesbian equivalent of Batman Forever.
Director: Rachel Talalay
Language:
Actresses: Lori Petty, Naomi Watts
Length: 104 min.
Genre: Almost Lesbian
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The Balcony
Rating: 1
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1963
A strong political satire of fascism and war. Customers of a brothel live out their fantasy lives while their world collapses around them. Very well made, but almost no lesbianism. A madam passionately kisses her bookkeeper. Once.
Director: Joseph Strick
Language:
Actresses: Shelley Winters, Lee Grant, Ruby Dee
Length: 83 min.
Genre: Drama
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The Ballad of Little Jo
Rating: 1
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1993
This fascinating feminist western is notable for its curious theme -- a solitary woman, facing innumerable dangers, decides to live her life as a man. Josephine (Suzy Amis) is thrown out of her home in the East for having an illegitimate baby and then travels west. But after surviving a kidnap/rape attempt, she decides the untamed land is no place for a woman and she changes her identity and sexuality by cutting her hair and exchanging petticoats for pants. The story revolves around her life in a small mining town, where she is accepted as Little Jo, a frail young man. Ian McKellen turns in a fine performance as a decent man but who eventually shows his true misogynist colors. No real lesbian content, hence the 1-star rating.
Director: Maggie Greenwald
Language:
Actresses: Suzy Amis, Carrie Snodgress, Heather Graham
Length: 120 min.
Genre: Action
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The Bostonians
Rating: 1
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1984
An exceptionally strong performance by Vanessa Redgrave and a commendable portrayal from Christopher Reeve highlight this Merchant Ivory adaptation of Henry James' novel. Set in 19th-century New England, the story concerns a love triangle in which Redgrave, an early feminist heroine, and Reeve, a reactionary Southern lawyer, battle for the love (and political soul) of a young girl. Ruth Prawer Jhabvala (who has scripted most Merchant Ivory productions) gleaned the emotional core out of James' work and her screenplay unearths the story's underlying passion.
Director: James Ivory
Language:
Actresses: Vanessa Redgrave, Jessica Tandy, Linda Hunt
Length: 122 min.
Genre: Period Film
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The Girl
Rating: 1
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2001
You know you're in trouble when the only other lesbians in the audience leave before the first 30 minutes is up. Even the so-called "steamy sex" isn't that good. In fact, the trio of het boys out for a little fun-n-games were more thrilled by the occasional punches than the occasional pussy. But you probably want a synopsis of the little bit of storyline that there is: The Painter becomes obsessed with The Girl. Bad man comes between them. One of them dies. Nobody cares which one.
Director: Sande Zeig
Language: French
Actresses: Agathe de la Boulaye, Claire Keim
Length: 84 min.
Genre: Action
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Thin Ice
Rating: 1
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1994
They don't fall in love and there aren't many laugh, so this isn't a romantic comedy. The straight woman comes out, but there's no angst or conflict so it isn't a coming out movie. You might have guessed that there's no plot to speak of, either. Two women practice their figure skating for 10 days and get into the Gay Games.
Director: Fiona Cunningham Reid
Language:
Actresses: Sabra Willams, Charlotte Avery
Length: 92 min.
Genre: Romance
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Things You Can Tell Just by Looking at Her
Rating: 1
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2001
A plodding film that never justifies its slow pace. Seven different stories tell the tales of seven different women's trouble with love. Each one has some ever-so-slight connection to another story. For example, Dr. Keenan is obsessed with a man, and gets her tarot cards read by Christine. Christine is the lesbian, whose sad story unfolds with the dying of her lover. Most of the straight women have some hope of love in their lives. The lesbian winds up with canaries.
Director: Rodrigo Garcia
Language:
Actresses: Glenn Close, Cameron Diaz, Calista Flockhart, Amy Brenneman, Holly Hunter, Kathy Baker, Valeria Golino
Length: 109 min.
Genre: Drama
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